Am I Determined?

Continuing from last Thursday (http://shaunawallace.blogspot.com/2012/09/just-jesus.html), anticipation overwhelms me as I long to convey the magnitude of God’s deliverance. The immediate relief He brought to my insecure mind when I read Paul’s words in I Corinthians 2:2: “For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.” The practical application I hope will bring relief to you in whatever area you may be struggling.

 

Let’s start by looking at the meaning of know in the Greek. It means “to perceive with any of the senses; to notice, discern, and discover; to turn the eyes, mind, attention to, or observe; to inspect or examine; to look at and behold; to experience; to have an interview with; to get knowledge of and understand; to have regard for one or cherish”(Strong's 1492 www.blueletterbible.com).

So to know Jesus and Him crucified means to perceive, notice, examine, experience, get knowledge of, and cherish Jesus in order that our eyes, mind, and attention are on Jesus ONLY in every circumstance and relationship. It’s making a purposeful decision to make known the cross of Christ in everything we do. It’s seeing things as Jesus sees them, examining things according to how Jesus would examine them, “interviewing” Jesus – in prayer and through His word – and responding as Jesus would respond.

 

In every area of my life, I am beginning to ask myself:

Am I determined to not know anything except Jesus and Him crucified in this area or relationship? Am I making known the cross of Jesus?

 

With my friendships, am I determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, or am I concerned about whether or not we’re being included in weekend gatherings and dinners out, parties or trips or other activities and events?

 

With my book, am I determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, or am I concerned about whether or not people will or won’t buy my book, read my blog, ask me only questions I know how to answer well?

 

With my body – whether it’s my skin, my size and shape, what I eat, what I wear, or whether I exercise – am I determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, or am I concerned about whether or not I’m perfect on the outside?

 

With my family and my extended family, am I determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, or am I concerned about their approval and whether or not I’m the perfect wife, mother, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law, etc.?

 

With my clothing and my home, am I determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, or am I concerned about whether or not I wear the latest and greatest most fashionable clothes or have a magazine-worthy house?

 

With my activities and the things to which I commit my children, am I determined to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified, or am I concerned about whether or not my kids are doing the right things to be accepted by the right people in order to have the right future?

 

When there’s chaos, insecurity, worry, over-commitment, difficult relationships, a thorn in your side – ask yourself: Am I determined to know nothing but Jesus and Him crucified?

By simply asking myself this question, the slate of my heart and mind is available for God to pen His will. There’s room to receive answers and guidance from Him. It has caused me to say no, to say yes, to stay the course, to change course abruptly, to set aside what I want for another’s needs, to do the right thing even when it’s hard.

 

To determine to know nothing but Jesus Christ and Him crucified is to live the crucified life Paul talks about in Galatians 2:20:

 

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

 

It is for Christ to live in us.

 

That’s great! But how does that happen? What does the crucified life look like?

 

We have only to look at Jesus. Join me Thursday as we do just that.

Jesus, You are our perfect model. You are all we need to know to live the crucified life that leads to joy and peace. Lead us there as we become more wholly Yours today.

 

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

The Crucified Life: Dying to Self

Laying in bed last night, I tried to imagine Jesus. What He bore. The pain. The humiliation. The suffering. Are those words even adequate? Is it even possible to grasp the magnitude of what He willingly, in love for us and obedience to His Father, submitted to in order to pay the penalty for my sin? Our sin. So that we may be saved. So that we might live a crucified life. Comprehension eludes me. The smallest glimmer of understanding crushes me. At this very time, several thousand years ago, He willingly submitted to the worst man could inflict in order to make God’s best available to you and me. He didn’t want the flogging. The spit in His face. The hateful taunting and humiliation. The nails driven cruelly in His hands and feet. The suffocation. The loneliness. The rejection of His own Father. He knew what was coming. Cried to His Father, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done" (Luke 22:42). He longed to be spared the cup of crucifixion to the point of sweating blood. “Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (Luke 22:43-44). But His death was necessary. Our death is necessary, too. Death to self.

The crucified life.

Not my will, but Yours. Obedience.

“Though He (Jesus) was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him” (Hebrews 5:8-9). We, too, learn obedience by the things we suffer. Paul said it like this: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

What can I say this Holy Week, this day before Good Friday, that would hold any significance in light of Jesus’ sacrifice? Nothing. My words are totally inadequate. But His aren’t. The word – the lamp unto our feet and light unto our path – illuminates the way to the crucified life. The following scriptures, stepping stones. Leaps, perhaps.

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross (Philippians 2:5-8).

Leap…

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

Leap…

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live (Romans 8:12).

Leap…

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1).

Leap…

Walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma (Ephesians 5:2).

Leap…

...lay down our lives for the brethren (I John 3:16).

...wives, submit to our husbands as is fitting in the Lord (Colossians 3:18).

…husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25).

…children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord (Colossians 3:20).

…Fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks (Ephesians 5:3-4).

…owe no one anything except to love one another (Romans 13:8).

…do good and share (Hebrews 13:16).

…give as you purpose in your heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7).

…put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking, and malice (Ephesians 4:31).

…judge not, condemn not (Luke 6:37).

…be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32). (Even when you’re not asked.)

…be subject to rulers and authorities, obey, and be ready for every good work (Titus 3:1)

…speak evil of no one, be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men (Titus 3:2).

…continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name (Hebrews 13:15).

…rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks (I Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Mission impossible? Yes! For me. In my own effort or power. But with God, nothing will be impossible (Luke 1:37). We can do everything through Him who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13), because His grace is sufficient for us, and His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Why the crucified life?

We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I believed and therefore I spoke," we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:7-5:5, emphasis mine).

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin” (Hebrews 12:1-4).

Let us each live a crucified life today as we become more wholly His.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

My Obituary, the Now and the Hopeful

Someone once told me to become who I wanted to attract. To make a list of everything I wanted in a man, and to become all those things. It was a time in my life when I was not walking with God. The most natural way I knew to fill the void was to find someone to complete me. Someone who had what I so desperately wanted but couldn’t quite attain. A man. So I made the list. Much of that time in my life is somewhat obscure, but I’m pretty sure I worked to attain the characteristics I desired in a potential husband. I’m working on a different list now. The one for my memorial. An obituary of sorts. A bit morbid, maybe. But attending three funerals in as many months deposited a lingering question unanswered in my mind: How will people remember me? More than that, how do I want them to remember me? What message does my life preach? Not just my “public” life, but the one no one sees. The one of my heart. The one before my family.

One funeral was for a church elder our family had come to love. Humble, a man of few words but overwhelming love, wise, and gentle. He walked the word. His life preached the gospel of Jesus Christ. He lived it in the way he prayed – I mean really prayed – served, led, did what he said he would do, stood for truth, but did so in love. And he adored his wife. Tenderly. Sweetly. Boldly, as Christ loves the church. His life made a lasting impression for Jesus, which begs the question: Is mine?

Katie, the young girl who died tragically in a car accident about a month ago, if even that. Her funeral celebrated her love for Jesus. Her devotion to His word. The light that radiated from a heart fully devoted to Jesus. Her love for others. It begs the question: What do others see of Jesus in me?

Self examination. Brutal honesty. Truth, as God sees it. That’s what I desire as I consider what might be said of me now. How desperately I want the monologue to change knowing what I do about my insides. What you see may look pretty good, but what I see reveals the degree of my need for a Savior every day. The motives of my heart. God keeps exposing how misguided they are, even when I’m “doing good.”  And the good that you see, is it God’s good or good by the world’s standards?

I want to stand before my heavenly Father blameless and harmless, a child of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom I shine as a light in the world (Philippians 2:15). I’m not talking about performance, or good works, or achieving some ideal by sheer will, determination, or my own effort. It’s not Jesus “plus” that saves us. It’s just Jesus. I’m talking about reaching an ever deeper level of absolute surrender. An all consuming love for God. A love that motivates obedience. Experiencing His grace in sanctification to the point of transformation from the inside out.

So here it is. The memorial or obituary as I hope it will one day be written:

Shauna Wallace loved the Lord her God with all her heart, mind, strength, and soul (Deuteronomy 6:5). She humbled herself and was obedient, even to the point of death (Philippians 2:8). She loved her neighbor as herself (Leviticus 19:18) and was willing to lay down her life, and even more so her lifestyle for others (I John 3:16). The heart of her husband trusted her; “she did him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12). She was submissive to him, honoring him in private and in public. She was a wise steward over all God entrusted her. She watched over the ways of her household and did not eat the bread of idleness (Proverbs 31:27). Strength and honor were her clothing; she opened her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue was the law of kindness (Proverbs 31:25-26). She trained up her children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), holding God’s word in her heart and teaching it diligently to her children, talking to them of God’s word when they sat in their house, walked by the way, lay down, and rose up (Deuteronomy 6:7). Her children call her blessed, and her husband praises her (Proverbs 31:28). Her beauty was not the outward appearance, but rather the hidden person of her heart, “with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:3-4). Even on bad days, her love for God showed in her love for others, both those close to her and those who didn’t know her at all. She was quick to listen and slow to anger, abounding in love that covered a multitude of sins. She was kind, did not envy, did not parade herself, was not puffed up, did not behave rudely, did not seek her own, was not provoked, thought no evil, and did not rejoice in iniquity. Rather, she rejoiced in truth, bore all things, believed all things, hoped all things, and endured all things. Her love never failed (I Corinthians 13:4-8). She was full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). She was crucified with Christ; it was no longer her life to live, but Christ lived in her; and the life she lived in the flesh, she lived by faith in the Son of God (Galatians 2:20). By His amazing grace, God saved her, by faith, and revealed Himself to others through His work in her. Today, her children love the Lord with all their heart, mind, strength, and soul, and the Lord used her to draw others to Himself because of the ways she loved unconditionally and sacrificially with the love of Christ Jesus.

I put this before the Lord as a prayer. That by the working of His Holy Spirit in me, according to His good pleasure, He will complete the good work He started in me until the day of Jesus Christ. That He will work together all things for good in order that I might reflect the character of Christ in my life. In all ways. All days. In every area.  That people, most especially my family, my children, will remember Jesus in me.

Sadly, if I had to write this same obituary today, it might read more like this:

Shauna Wallace really wanted to love God with all her heart, mind, strength, and soul, but many times fell short when it got tough. She wanted to live a life of no compromise, but when culture made it hard to take a stand, she sometimes wavered. Her desire was for inner beauty to be her priority, but she spent a lot of time trying to achieve the perfect body, hair, skin, and look. She was 43, but would try anything to look no older than 29. Even though she tried to do all the right things, she was impatient and many times intolerant with her family. Her desire was to serve others, but she found herself putting herself first. She lost her temper when she was interrupted, and what she wanted often took priority over others. She didn’t really know her neighbors, and she mostly served only those who she already knew. She was a great hostess, making those she knew feel welcome in her home. She accomplished a lot, but many times at the expense of relationships. She did all the right things to have a relationship with God, but struggled to just worship Him and spend time in His presence. When she read the Bible, she many times saw herself in the lists of things God hates. When she had a lot on her mind – and that happened a lot as she took on more than she should – she’d miss things right in front of her, giving her plenty of opportunities to seek forgiveness. She had great intentions, but didn’t always have great execution. Her kids knew she loved them, but she didn’t always show them with her time. She was working on it, though, and she had a good heart.

Perhaps the truth lies somewhere in the middle. Whatever the case, my hope for progress cannot be in me. I fall so repulsively short of the goal. My only source of hope is Jesus – that He will accomplish His word in me. The magnitude of my hope is equal to the depth of my despair because HE CAN DO what is impossible for me. Thank God for His grace! Thank God it isn’t my performance that saves me. Only Jesus. Thank you, Jesus!!!

Not too long ago, I ran across that list I compiled of what I wanted in a man. I have no idea where it is today, but I remember looking over it, amazed. Many of the things I desired, God had achieved, both in me, and in my man, as Jesus filled our voids and became the third strand in our marriage. Perhaps in several years I’ll happen across this obituary, amazed.

How would your obituary read today? What would your family and those closest to you remember most about you? What would neighbors say? Coworkers? Church acquaintances? Friends? Other parents? How do you want it to read? Take a few minutes to consider how you might answer. Find some scriptures you want to define you. Write them down as part of your own “obituary,” then commit it to prayer, knowing God will complete His good work in you, too.

I am humbled and moved by God’s love as I become more wholly His today.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His