Decorating Our Hearts

Boxes unpacked and everything in its place in our new home, it was time to perfect all the spots and rooms that were “missing” something. Armed with lists, sketches, and dimensions by room, along with paint and fabric swatches, I was determined to achieve a magazine-worthy décor. It was a process, but not to worry. I’m a great obsessor! Sadly, when I would walk around my house, rather than marvel at God’s goodness all around me, all I could see was want.

Sometime during that process, I came across Proverbs 24:3-4, and God’s exact word for me in that exact moment drew my heart to home design that pleases Him: “Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

My focus was all wrong! House in verse three refers not only to a physical dwelling, but also to a family, the people in the household, and the line of descendents. Regardless of what provides shelter over our heads, a family is built, established, sustained, made permanent, and sometimes rebuilt through wisdom, forethought, and discretion. When we use the intelligence, skill, and insight we obtain by reading the Bible and listening to the Holy Spirit as He leads and guides us into all truth, we are able to discern, perceive, know, observe, mark, and distinguish what is necessary for our family to be ordered, settled and secure, prepared, accomplished, and headed in the right direction.

Now to fill the rooms. Rooms in verse four speaks not only of physical chambers, but also of the innermost or inward parts. The part of us encompassed or enclosed within. Our hearts.

Drawing from the same skills of observation, discernment, understanding, and wisdom, our family’s innermost parts are abundantly filled with precious and pleasant riches, which means each of us as individuals are armed, satisfied, and complete with substance that is prized by God. Things He deems rare, splendid, costly, influential, delightful, sweet, lovely, agreeable, and sweet sounding.

Interestingly, the root for riches means “vigour, generative power, physical strength,” probably from ‘aven, which means “ trouble, wickedness, sorrow, idolatry, trouble of iniquity” (www.blueletterbible.org, H202 ‘own and H205 ‘aven).  Consequently, the riches with which I want to fill my house (and the hearts within) are exclusively available in Christ to enable us to vigorously walk in the generative power of the Holy Spirit in the face of any trouble, wickedness, sorrow, iniquity, and idolatry.

We are not going to find any of this in a home décor store!

So while my mind was occupied with envisioning a flawless décor, that’s not what makes a house beautiful at all! Pretty things are nice to look at, and walking into a room that is “done” brings me great satisfaction, but I don’t want my home to be attractive because of the right combination of seating, fabrics, accents, paintings, and perfectly positioned possessions. I want its true beauty to exist in the value of what’s contained within the people housed there.

To build a home is to build a family. To fill its rooms – its innermost or inward parts – is to fill the hearts of those within with precious and pleasant qualities and characteristics esteemed by God, not man.

What is delightful, sweet, lovely, agreeable, and sweet-sounding to the Lord? By no means is this list exhaustive, but here are a few things the scriptures tell us delight God:

A broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:17);

A just weight (Proverbs 11:1);

Those who are blameless in His sight (Proverbs 11:20);

Those who deal truthfully (Proverbs 12:22);

The prayer of the upright (Proverbs 15:8);

The fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:3);

To understand and know Him, that He is Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth (Jeremiah 9:24);

Singing, meditation (of the biblical, not New Age kind), and being glad in Him (Psalm 104:34);

Sacrifices (of the giving up self kind, not animals) to and for Him (Philippians 4:18);

Love (I Corinthians 13:1).

Is it time to redecorate? Refresh a few rooms? Address a few heart issues?

We have plenty to keep us busy around my house!

My home is never truly finished in my eyes. There’s always something that just isn’t quite done. I’ve been in my home five years and just last week finally figured out a hardware and fingertip towel combination for my powder bath. Now if I could just figure out what to do on/behind my toilet! You see, as soon as I seem to finally have everything just the way I want it, I discover an item or look that’s outdated, or my tastes have changed, and it’s time to start refreshing.

In the same way, we will never be perfected this side of heaven. We will always be a work in progress as God finishes what He started in us when by grace He turned our hearts toward Christ.

Fortunately, though, the biblical principles we instill in our “house” never go out of style. God’s word never changes and it never is outdated and it never gets old. Our spiritual decorating efforts have eternal value and will always be in style.

Lord, fill our innermost parts with precious and pleasant riches that reflect Your splendor and bring glory to Your name as we become more wholly Yours today.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

Submarines in Muddy Rivers

Lounging in the guest bed watching an early evening movie with one of my daughters, bickering penetrated our peaceful haven as an offended sibling burst in to report an unacceptable incident. The tattling sister made a deal she never should have, the sister watching the movie allowed it, and the originator now found it to be completely unfair. It was the end of the day, and any trace of wisdom I might have started with was completely depleted.

Numb in the brain, I froze as I contemplated which issue to address – the one sister being a woman of her word, letting her “Yes” be a “Yes,” or the other sister having the consideration to be generous with her heart and reject unfair deals. James happened to pop his head in the room, and when he heard “the deal,” he swiftly and decidedly addressed the offense. He exacted a consequence, and it was over.

What a relief! Yet, at the same time, I felt a twinge of inadequacy. Why did I sometimes feel so paralyzed with confusion and indecision? Why can’t I have wisdom not just some of the time but all of the time? Chatting with James later, I explained how sometimes I just feel like I’m failing my children.

Shortly thereafter, a friend and I were discussing the challenges of consistently training up our children and choosing worthy battles. She and her husband had recently agreed that he would help balance her approach to disciplining their children, and she found his covering over her – his help in rescuing her when she was overwhelmed – to be a huge relief.

It occurred to me how desperately we need submarines in our muddy rivers!

I once heard men are like submarines, while women are like rivers. Men compartmentalize their lives – job, wife, kids, hobbies, friends, responsibilities, etc. If something goes wrong in one compartment, he just seals it off, leaving the rest of his submarine completely functioning. Flashing red sirens may be screaming as water floods the damaged area, but the rest of the craft is dry and fully functioning.

But for a woman, whatever gets thrown in or stirred up in her life throughout the day muddies all the water. There’s no separation. All disappointments, aggravations, emotions, interactions, stresses, hormones, relationship issues, and the like flow into the current. There’s no plucking out a single pollutant. All the water has to be purified!

When “the deal” blackened my waters, I needed James to navigate his submarine into my murky water and start dealing with some of the pollutants! Even though he has to immerse himself in order to get me out, he seems to have this remarkable periscope that gives him incredible perspective. He can clearly see everything that’s really going on at the surface when I no longer can!

God knew I would need him to be my head. He’s the one who set it up that way for our benefit!

Ephesians 5:23 explains, “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is Savior of the body.” We are to be subject to our husbands, and they are to love us as “Christ also loved the church and gave Himself to her” (verse 25). 

It’s a matter of order, like the military. People are arranged by rank for optimum function and protection. If everyone’s the admiral, there are going to be major problems. Without a clear head of operations to give orders and expect obedience, when the enemy strikes, confusion will ensue. Chaos. Defeat. Bloodshed. Death.

The order in our homes is that the wife is subject to her husband, her head. She is arranged under him. He is her covering, and she willingly, by her own appointment, yields to him. Obeys him. Accepts his admonition and advice. And help.

The good news for us is that right order clears murky waters. The reason Christ loved the church and gave Himself to her, as our husbands are to mimic in their love for us, is “that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word” (verse 26). When our husbands love us like Christ, and we subject ourselves to their headship, we are sanctified and cleansed by the washing of the water by the word, which in the Greek refers to that which is spoken.

When James came into the guest room and laid down the law, he de-muddied my waters! He was my savior (little s). It’s a principle of application: James is head, I am subject, and I benefit, just as it is in my relationship with Jesus Christ.

“Is there mud in your river?” James will often ask if he senses I’m overwhelmed or agitated. It’s our code for gauging my state of mind. Am I a happy wife and mommy or drowning maniac?!?! Then he’ll sweetly inquire, “What can I do to get the mud out of your river?”

Husbands, at the end of the day when your wives lay lifeless on the beds of their muddy rivers, navigate your submarines into those cloudy waters and take authority over them mudslingers! Wives, let your husbands be the head. Let them propel their way into their proper place.

Everyone wins.

Lord, help us to submit to Your perfect order as we become more wholly Yours today.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

The Value of Special

Shopping is my comfort food. Spending money to treat myself or those I love says you’re special. Growing up, I envied friends who wore designer brands and enjoyed an abundance of the latest and greatest. I equated what I perceived as lack of the right stuff with a lack of love. A lack of worth. Somehow, I was less than because I had different or less, or because I didn’t have the same experiences.

To this day, I have a severe aversion to packing a lunch. My sad paper sack filled with whatever I could come up with never measured up to the beautifully wrapped sandwiches and cool pre-packaged foods, drinks, and love notes other moms daily delivered to their schoolchildren.

I brought this money-defines-me mindset into marriage and motherhood. Early on, when James and I determined to obey God with our finances – tithing and getting out of debt – we stopped spending and went without a lot of extras. I would look around at others who had more, especially the women who didn’t have to work and still had all they wanted, and I was jealous. In my mind, they were better than me. I was inadequate.

As the Lord has totally transformed our financial situation, He has shown me that spending excessively just because I can is just as wrong for me as spending what I don’t have in order to have whatever I want. In order to measure up or make something impressive.

Special occasions are the worst. One might expect extravagance at Christmas or on a birthday, but God used Valentine’s Day several years ago to expose how extreme I had become with spending to make something exceptional. Once again, based on what I remembered as lack of treats growing up, I was determined to make this celebratory occasion memorable for my children. The most obvious way to do that? Buy them gifts! When everyone decided they wanted to buy everyone else a gift, however, it spiraled into a  second Christmas. It was absolutely ridiculous, and I got one of “those looks” from my husband. You know the one. And he gently but firmly insisted, “I think that’s enough.”

And he was right.

This may sound cliché, but I’m learning that giving is so much more than a wrapped present. Love isn’t measured by belongings. Worth isn’t calculated by possessions.

While I still overdo Christmas and birthdays (God is working with me on that!), and I still really like to shop (He’s still working with me on that, too!), with God’s help, special occasions have become opportunities to love my family and friends through time, pampering and presentation versus possessions.

Family ways now trump family assets.

This weekend, our family had what I think is one of our best ever times together, not because we went somewhere exotic. It was a road trip for a few days in the Hill Country of Texas. Not because we engaged in any spectacular adventures. What was incredible about it was the fact that we were all together. And we all wanted to be together. Loved to be together. And we did something out of the ordinary for us. 

We wandered through the booths at a small town festival.

Hunting our own rocks, the guys constructed a fire pit. 

Gathering our own sticks, they built a fire, and we roasted hot dogs for dinner.

We made fools of ourselves utilizing the self-timer for a family photo in the bluebonnets.

We hiked. We relaxed. We talked. We laughed. We watched the sunset and feasted on s’mores under the stars.

It was a gift of time. Togetherness. Memories.

There might be a few amazing possessions my kids will always remember receiving, but what they talk about most are the times we have shared.

Not the presents under the tree, but gathering around the fireplace on Christmas Eve sharing the gift we’re putting in Jesus’ stocking, the part of ourselves we want to more fully surrender to Him for the coming year.

Or the eggs Benedict brunch served every Christmas morning (or afternoon as the kids get older and sleep a little later).

Not the heart candies on February 15, but the heart-shaped bacon, waffles, and eggs enjoyed as a family that morning.

Not the brand or design of their Easter outfits or volume of eggs unearthed in the yard, but the Good Friday dinner carefully crafted and arranged to tell the crucifixion story (thank you Jessica at www.showerofroses.blogspot.com for the idea!).

Not the gifts unwrapped on a birthday, but the people gathered for the occasion or the birthday morning breakfast feast or fancy home-cooked dinner.

I still want to make things special. It’s hard not to when my husband’s favorite closer when requesting something is, “but you have to make it special.”

It’s just that I no longer measure how special something is by brand, volume or expense. I’m learning to measure by a currency of caring, creatively making someone else feel important.

Makes me want to pack my kids a lunch the next time the opportunity presents itself.

I might even throw in a note.

Lord, thank you for the ways you lavish us with Your love. May the world know we are Yours by the way we love and care for our families and others. Please continually transform our mindsets as we become more wholly Yours.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

A Forever Valentine

Much to my children’s disappointment, I’m not the mom who rises early every morning to cook a three course hot breakfast from scratch, complete with freshly squeezed orange juice. I admire her. Sometimes I wish I could be her. But no, I’m the mom who taught her youngest child to make her own waffles in the microwave when she was four-and-a-half years old so I could sleep past 6 a.m. Sad but true.

Special occasions are special, however, and those days greet my family with a morning spread worthy of a hungry jack. Birthdays, holidays, and sometimes on a random Saturday, I’ll pull out all the stops to delight my peeps with a morning treat.

Today is one of those days. Valentine’s Day. My plan is to serve heart-shaped fried eggs with bacon baked in the shape of a heart alongside waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. What hits the plate may look more like scrambled eggs with bacon bits, but I’m going to give it my best. Whatever happens, the chocolate treats my girls selected for each family member should carry the day. Even our oldest is coming home to join us for our early feast. That’s what makes it really special. Being together. Making a memory.

And love. True love. Not the kind that’s celebrated with gifts and romantic dinners. Not the kind that requires having a valentine with whom to exchange googly eyes and mushy words. I’m talking about the greatest love of all. The greatest gift of all:

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast (Ephesians 2:4-9).

In light of God’s love for us, what can we give back to Him, our Forever Valentine? How can we love Him back?

2 John 1:5-6 answers: “And now I plead with you, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment to you, but that which we have had from the beginning: that we love one another. This is love, that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it.”

We can love God today and every day by loving one another. I read the most beautiful adaptation of I Corinthians 13:4-8 by Jerry Bridges in his book, The Discipline of Grace: God’s Role and Our Role in the Pursuit of Happiness (p. 39). I share it here today as my valentine to you, both in the understanding I hope it provides in order to extend this kind of love in your life, and as a challenge to myself to give this kind of love to you and those around me.

I am patient with you because I love you and want to forgive you.

I am kind to you because I love you and want to help you.

I do not envy your possessions or your gifts because I love you and want you to have the best.

I do not boast about my attainments because I love you and want to hear about yours.

I am not proud because I love you and want to esteem you before myself.

I am not rude because I love you and care about your feelings.

I am not self-seeking because I love you and want to meet your needs.

I am not easily angered by you because I love you and want to overlook your offenses.

I do not keep a record of your wrongs because I love you, and “love covers a multitude of sins.”

This kind of love – God’s kind of love – never fails. It’s a valentine with eternal value.

Lord, as You love us, help us to love one another with Your kind of love as we become more wholly Yours today.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His