Gratitude Grows Green Grass

Lately, it seems as if every time God exposes a weakness in me, He exposes that same tendency in one of my children, using their struggle to expose the depth of my waywardness and how it has shaped their bent toward the same sin. I cannot explain in words the vulnerability I am experiencing as I see just how helpless I am without the Lord. Without His wisdom. Without His strength and help. How can I train and steer my kids in His ways when I am still learning so much? When I still stumble and fall in the same areas? When I still need His intervention as much and more than they do? When they need wisdom I have yet to obtain or master?

After posting Monday’s blog on “The Greatest Vanity of All: Discontentment” (http://shaunawallace.blogspot.com/2012/06/greatest-vanity-of-vanities.html), I was ambushed by several of my kids with every reason why the grass is greener on the other side of a decision we’ve made for them. When my response failed their expectation, depression set in. Not just for the disappointed one, but for me. As I took it all to the Lord and cried out to Him, begging Him for wisdom and to guard this child’s heart against resentment and any ensuing hardness, He showed me the root of the issue: discontentment. Then He showed me the one who’s modeling it: me.

I am convinced a substantial source of discontentment is comparison. We look around and focus on what others have and we don’t. What others get to do and we don’t. What others don’t have to do and we do. What others don’t have to deal with and we do. We decide others have it better and hang our happiness on becoming like them. We tell ourselves it will make us look better, feel better, belong better. And our disappointment stealthily drags us to state of despair.

Is contentment even possible when we’re not getting what we want? When things seem impossible? When we’re convinced something beyond us at the moment is the key to our happiness?

Yes! Paul explains in Philippians 4:11-13: “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Contentment is learned. It is not a natural state, but it can become the one that feels most natural to us, through Christ who strengthens us.

In my experience, it is not accidentally discovered or acquired through osmosis. It is a conscious choice to renew my faith. Faith that our heavenly Father loves us and knows what’s best for us. Faith that He is in control and does not allow what He does not intend to use for our good. Faith that He will direct our paths, directly or through those in authority over us, as we seek His will above all else. Faith that He is always there, as Hebrews 13:5 tells us: “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’"

We can be content with exactly where we are, what we have, and what He has us doing because  He will never leave or forsake us. That is our source of contentment. It is the only thing that matters. The only thing of eternal importance.

Gratitude naturally flows. Or we might have to be intentional about that as well. Either way, thankfulness douses discontentment. We can’t be grateful and unhappy at the same time. We can’t be grateful and full of fear. We can’t be grateful and angry. We can’t be grateful and grumpy. We can’t be grateful and resentful. We can’t be grateful and envious.

It’s up to us.

Choose faith.

Practice gratitude.

Learn contentment.

There are brown patches, bald spots, chinch bugs, pits, and burrs in the grass on both sides of every fence. Only God knows the side on which you belong. Trust Him. Praise Him. Let Him be God as you become more wholly His today. Find the green grass where you are today, and thank Him for it.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

When a Mole Hill IS a Mountain

I am relieved to report I am surviving! I have more peace today than I did a week ago. Not all the time…yet. But more of the time, and you know what? I’ll take it! I am rejoicing…still. Even when I don’t feel like it…still. And I am in awe of God’s goodness and faithfulness. He heard my cries for help, and He answered, above and beyond the itty-bitty realm of possibility from which I asked. Honesty was risked and friendship restored. Humble love was risked and a child poured out their heart, even the struggles for which I was to blame. Lying bare at the foot of the cross, God covered me. Carried me. Caused me to seek after His plan. His purpose. His ways. And then He gave me more. More of Him. More of His truth. More for my children. The more I was troubled, the more ready I was for anything He had for me. I didn’t care what the truth was, or how hard it might be to receive, I just wanted truth. And He gave. And some of it hurt. It was about me. My shortcomings. My sins. My neglect. My selfishness. My desperate need for a Savior every day. My desperate need for grace every moment. My insecurities. It hurt good, though. The kind of hurt that brings an end to the bleeding. The kind of hurt that marks the beginning of God’s healing. God’s treatment. God’s rehab. God’s deliverance. By faith.

Faith. Jesus says, “I say to you if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain , ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you’” (Matt. 17:20). A mustard seed. That’s not very big. My mole hills become mountains, and I wonder what that sliver of faith looks like. Does the fact that I’m struggling mean I have forsaken faith altogether? God shows me the answer. No! Faith isn’t always some catastrophic, life-changing moment when we say yes to God to the accompaniment of angels singing the Hallelujah chorus. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith simply as “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” It is the conviction we have that what we hope for in Christ is actually a reality today. It is the proof we and others need of the reality of what we cannot see. Faith is evidence of Jesus. It is evidence of salvation. It is evidence of hope. It is evidence of grace. Things that happen in a realm undetectable to the bodily eye are tested and proved by our faith. Sometimes it’s faith to do the big stuff God requires, like leave everything that’s comfortable and familiar, and follow after Him. But other times, like for me these last few weeks, it’s the faith to turn to God every three minutes because that’s as long as I can make it before my mind wanders to worry and He has to turn me back to Him.

Regardless of the measure of faith we have at any given moment, we simply must have faith. When we are saved by grace, it is through faith (Eph. 2:8). It is not of ourselves, but God is the one who deals each one of us the measure of faith we have (Rom. 12:3). He moves on our hearts to respond to Jesus with the faith He gives, and He saves us. Based on Hebrews 11, look at what He accomplishes by the faith He gives:

By faith, we gain understanding. By faith, we obey God from a right heart. By faith, the lives of those who have passed before us still speak to us today. By faith, God delivers. By faith, we are saved and can do the really hard things God requires. By faith, we become heirs of the righteousness that is according to faith. By faith, we can obey when we have no idea where it will lead. By faith, we can live temporarily, anchored only to Him. By faith, we can experience the impossible. By faith, we can consider Him faithful who has promised. By faith, we can seek a heavenly country. By faith, we pass the tests we face, even the extremely difficult ones. By faith, we can bless our children and speak of the future. By faith, we can defy evil rulers without fear. By faith, we can refuse position and heritage in order to be who and where God calls us. By faith, we endure. By faith, we see the unseen. By faith, we can do things that have never been done before. By faith, we can experience miracles and deliverance against all natural odds.

Everything is by faith in the unseen. Faith requires focusing on the heavenly. Faith makes the impossible insignificant. Void. Ineffective. Faith gives God all the glory. Faith preaches from our lives long after we’re gone. Faith strengthens others to faith.

The greatest faith truth for me this week? By faith, I can leave everything behind and find the ability to sacrifice even what is closest to my heart. The hard truth? Many times, the thing closest to my own heart is my own self. By faith, I can sacrifice self. That is what is on the alter right now. Me. My desires to control my children’s lives. My desire to have and be their answer. My desire to figure things out so I can fix things for them. My activities and accomplishments that supersede God’s priorities for my time and energy.

Hebrews 11 chronicles the big leagues of faith. The all-stars. Faith’s hall of fame.  Abel. Enoch. Noah.  Abraham. Sarah. Isaac. Jacob. Joseph. Moses. Rahab. Gideon. Barak. Samson. Jephthah. David. Samuel. The prophets. All big players. All simple men and women. Just like you and me in some way. Imperfect. Inconsistent. Interfering. Tempted. Stumbling. Manipulative. Sordid past. Yet, God gave them faith, and their faith is the evidence we need today for our faith.

“Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11:6). Thank You, Lord, for the measure of faith You have given me. I ask You now, in Jesus’ name, please increase my faith.

And I ask You, Lord, please give every person reading this right now greater faith as we become more wholly Yours.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

His Face, His Good

Fumes waft thick in my nostrils. Every possession my husband and I could possibly pack into our master bedroom closet forms a teetering mountain on our dining room table. Whatever didn’t fall into the category of hanging clothes occupies every other available square inch under and around. As I strain to focus on writing with my fume-fogged mind, I see the mound of chaos out of the corner of my eye, and I can’t wait to restore order to my home! The glamour of replacing well-worn (a.k.a. embarrassingly soiled) carpet with wood floors alludes this “everything in its place” kind of gal. It’s driving me crazy! I dread the overwhelming prospect of actually putting everything back, but the light at the end of the tunnel begs me to hang on. It promises a perfect ending to the disorder. I just have to survive the meantime…the time of waiting for what I know will make everything better. My hope is in regaining a neat and orderly home. It’s silly, isn’t it? I’m glad to say, by God’s grace, disorder doesn’t steal my joy to the same degree it did in the past. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for things to be put back the way they were. But it’s not stealing my joy. Mind you, this is a simple thing. Silly and a bit trivial, really. Many times, though, we’re waiting for resolution for things that aren’t that simple. Maybe they’re even life altering or life threatening. What do we do then?

IRREVOCABLE TRUTH #7: Seek His face, not an outcome. When we face challenging times, it’s so easy to put our faith in our idea of what the answer must be. We get sick, and we set our eyes on being made well. Our husband loses his job, and we put our faith in the new job that just has to be right around the corner. We receive bad news, and we put our faith in what we determine will make it better. Naturally, we set our eyes on a particular conclusion, and when it doesn’t become a reality, we question God. Or maybe we expect nothing from God so we won’t be disappointed. Perhaps we chalk everything up to His sovereignty, and we passively resign ourselves to the position of door mat. What I’m saying might be ruffling some feathers, so hear me out. I’m not saying we shouldn’t ask for a particular outcome and have faith in His power to bring that about. I’m not saying we don’t claim His promises for ourselves, asking in faith and believing we will receive. I’m not saying that we deny the sovereignty of God, ever. What I am saying is that we set our focus on the only real answer, and that is God Himself. Not what He can do. Not what He can cause. Not what He can solve. He is more than able. But as Psalm 27:7-9 says, “Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice! Have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.” Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation” (emphasis mine). He IS the answer. He IS our great reward. He IS our salvation. Him and Him alone. And if He never does another thing for us, that is enough.

When His face is all we seek, we will always have what we need. How many times do we fall into the trap of waiting for something to meet our expectations because then we’ll be happy? As soon as I’m a comfortable size 4 again, then I’ll be happy! When my face clears up and my skin looks like that of a porcelain doll, then I’ll be satisfied. When my husband knows exactly how to make me feel better without me saying a word, then everything will be okay. When my children do what I ask the first time every time, then life will be good. When there’s always more money in the checkbook than we need at the end of the month, then we will have arrived. Don’t we all have “when…then” scenarios? In the meantime, we wait discontentedly with our unmet expectations, and we miss out on God’s face and grace in the now. When we are seeking His face and His face only, we will be in a constant state of satisfaction, and many times, we’ll find ourselves amazed that the Lord is working everything else out better than we could have asked or imagined. It really is true what Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

IRREVOCABLE TRUTH #8: When He works all things together for good, His good is to conform us to the image of Christ. Romans 8:28 has to be one of the all-time most quoted scriptures. Why wouldn’t it be? It tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” For years, my understanding (which we now know is a dangerous thing!) of good was whatever I determined was a good solution to my dilemma. Challenged with a miserable marriage, I would imagine good as the perfect marriage. Facing financial problems, I would imagine good as the absence of money issues (namely, shortages!). Facing insecurity, I would imagine good as unshakable self-confidence. Facing unpleasant tasks, I would imagine good as the absence of burdensome responsibilities. Facing issues with my body image, I would imagine good as finally attaining the perfect figure without effort or restrictions to my diet. I think you get the picture. One day, God flipped on a light in my head and the scales fell from my eyes when I read Romans 8:29, “For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.” God’s good isn’t necessarily going to line up with my idea of good. His good is always going to be that I be more like Jesus, and just as Jesus learned obedience through suffering, so do we.

When we call on His name, He answers. It may not be the answer we desire or expect, but it will be for our good and for the advancement of His purpose and His kingdom. Are we willing for things to go wrong in our lives in order for them to go right for God?

Psalm 17:15 says, “As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.” Lord, let that be my measure of satisfaction today and always. I seek Your face, and Your face alone, trusting that You are working everything together to conform me to the image of Christ. And that is my source of satisfaction.

Seeking His face to become more wholly His today,

Shauna Wallace

Holy His