Think a chore is unfair and want
to keep talking about it? You’ll probably end up with all the chores. A little
too vocal about what you think about doing dishes when you have all kinds of
reasons why you shouldn’t? You may end up with all kitchen responsibilities for
a week or longer.
Giving off an overall haughty
attitude? That’s right.
“Work em!”
Remarkably, it works!
It is James’ answer for our
children, and it is his answer for other kids he sees taking advantage of and
disrespecting their parents out of an ungrateful heart. “They just need a
little work!”
Perhaps it’s effective because
it’s what God does to His children.
Monday morning, we enjoyed the
rare treat of an empty, quiet house. It was a holiday, and the girls spent the
night with their brother. Reclined in the living room, Bible in lap, coffee in
hand, and no deadlines lurking, I enjoyed an extended time with the Lord. Reading
through Psalm 107, my Bible study instructions were to note the reasons why
Israel found itself distressed.
I alighted upon verse twelve and
chuckled. “Well, I’ll be…” James’ approach is scriptural!
Psalm 107:12-15 says:
Those who sat in darkness and in the
shadow of death, bound in affliction and irons – because they rebelled against the words of God, and despised the
counsel of the Most High, therefore He brought down their heart with labor;
they fell down and there was none to help. Then they cried out to the Lord in
their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out
of their darkness and the shadow of death, and broke their chains in
pieces. Oh, that men would give thanks
to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of
men (emphasis mine)!
The Israelites, like our children
inevitably will do (and let’s not kid ourselves, like we do, too), rebelled
against the words of God and despised His counsel. They were contentious and
disobedient and looked down on His instruction to them. Does this describe the
attitude you sometimes encounter in your own children?
And look what He did: He worked ‘em!
He humbled and subdued their hearts – the seat of their rebellion – with
trouble and toil. They eventually cried out to Him, and He saved them out of
their distress. It is a pattern repeated throughout the scriptures: God speaks,
the Israelites rebel, they suffer, and then they return, humbled and ready to
submit and obey. We’ve done it. Our children do it. And like the Lord, who continued
to speak His word to His children even when they refused to obey, we must do as
He says in Ezekiel 2:3-7:
And He said to me: "Son of man, I am
sending you to the children of Israel, to a rebellious nation that has rebelled
against Me; they and their fathers have transgressed against Me to this very
day. For they are impudent and stubborn children. I am sending you to them, and
you shall say to them, 'Thus says the Lord GOD.' As for them, whether they hear
or whether they refuse – for they are a rebellious house – yet they will know
that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, do not be afraid of
them nor be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns are with you and
you dwell among scorpions; do not be
afraid of their words or dismayed by their looks, though they are a
rebellious house. You shall speak My
words to them, whether they hear or whether they refuse, for they are
rebellious (emphasis mine).
When we speak the word of God to our
children, especially when we’re confronting wrong behavior, we may not be met
with the friendliest response. Regardless, we cannot be afraid of our
children’s unhappiness with our decisions. We cannot fear their words, dirty
looks, silent treatment, backhanded remarks, or other forms of punishment.
As they grow and assert their
independence, we are going to have to address rebellion. For some, it’s strong
and in your face. For others, it’s under the radar and a bit harder to detect. One
thing is certain, though, and that is they are all born with a sinful heart,
just like we are. They are all going to struggle with their flesh. Just like we
do.
The first time I was on the
receiving end of a cold shoulder and cutting attitude from a rebellious heart,
it broke mine. For what I was feeling, but more so for the realization of what
I put my own mother through. It grieved me that I couldn’t pick up the phone
and call her to beg forgiveness, again, for the countless times I screamed my
hatred and punished her for decisions I didn’t like.
Whether our children are
compliant or make our lives miserable when we discipline, we must do as Ezekiel
says: speak God’s words to them, whether they hear or whether they refuse.
And work ‘em!
For the Lord says in Hosea 14:4,
"I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely, for My anger has
turned away from him.”
For that, let us “give thanks
to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of
men.”
And let’s keep a list of extra
work that needs to be done. When the need arises, we won’t be caught off guard
with no chores to assign. Let’s speak God’s word to our children. Explain His
desire for them and His instruction for them with regards to their relationship
with us and Him. If there’s a scripture that applies specifically to the
circumstances that led to their discipline, speak those words to them too. And
then, like the Lord does for us and them, let’s turn our anger away from them. Love
them freely. Heal their backsliding. Lead them to a place of thanksgiving for
God’s goodness and wonderful works.
Lord, thank You for Your
faithfulness to speak Your word and heal our backsliding. Thank you for loving
us freely and turning Your anger from us as we learn to be more wholly Yours
today.
Shauna Wallace
Holy His
