The Dreaded Confession

There are some phone calls I dread. Top on the list are those that involve any kind of conflict or confrontation and the kind I made Wednesday.

“Hi honey. What are you doing?” I inquired gaily.

“Oh, working. What’s up?” James replied, completely unsuspecting.

“Are you having a good day? Are you in a pretty happy mood?” I asked with a smile on my face and butterflies in my belly.

“I guess I’m doing all right. Why?” he answered, suspicion dawning.

“Well…”

And the confession begins. Ten eyes watching. Ten ears listening.

That morning, car loaded with a few of my kids and several extra, I headed to Houston to see the new paleontology exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. Life-size dinosaur skeletons populated a room the size of a football field, floor to ceiling. Exiting “Jurrasic Park,” we headed for the African safari. A quick lunch, and it was on to gemology, where gazillion-carat precious stones called my name! The tornado IMAX provided the perfect ending to a perfect day.  We meandered through the strategically situated gift shop (located on the way to the exit), where I said no a hundred times and a hundred different ways, and made our way to the car.

Everyone loaded, I noticed a note on my windshield.

“Hmmmm. What could that be?” I wondered.

 It had a person’s name and phone number and read:

“call about scratch on car”

Uh-oh.

Sinking feeling.

Circling the vehicle, the events of that morning flash through my mind. We arrived to find the entire museum district crawling with school buses, cars, and droves of people. Parking was impossible! I finally found the parking garage and the perfect parking spot. The kind that inspires the hallelujah chorus! There was one of those “Compact Cars Only” signs, but those are only a suggestion, right?

“Mama, should we really park here?” my daughter questioned.

“Awww, I’m compact enough. It’ll be fine!” I confidently assured her, and every other kid as they debated the wisdom of my decision. I crept within a quarter inch of the wall, checked to be sure wasn’t hanging out more than a few inches more than the compact car next to me, and we headed for the elevators, a straight shot from the parking spot sent straight from heaven just for me!

Staring down the crunched in rear passenger bumper upon our return, the wisdom of the compact car sign dawned on me. It was for my own good! In those narrow spaces, SUVs like mine extend into the space needed to clear the turns between levels. Being that mine was the last car before the turn, it was an extra foolish parking job!

Crawling in my seat, fully aware of the folly of my ways, I came clean.

“I knew we shouldn’t have parked there!” one exclaimed.

And she was right.

Humbled, there was nothing to do but admit that I was wrong. James was exasperated, but as always, gracious. He even called the man who left the note because I was scared he would yell at me for parking where I shouldn’t.

As we drove the hour home, kids engaged in their own conversations, I thought about my sinful, rebellious heart. That’s really the bottom line. I saw a parking space. I wanted it. I ignored authority and wisdom and took it. I made it work because that’s what I wanted. Forget the museum and the fact that the garage is their property and therefore under their authority. Forget that the sign is there for a reason. For the protection of my property.

I thought about God’s word. Like the sign, there for our own good. For our protection. And yet, how many times do I ignore it because there’s something before me that will bring more immediate gratification?

Deuteronomy 6:24 explains, “'And the LORD commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day.”

Conversely, “The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways” (Proverbs 14:14). That was me  making that parking space work no matter what. My way.

God’s word, His ways, His commands and statutes, are all for our good always. To preserve us alive, which in the Greek means “to sustain life, live prosperously, live forever, be restored to life and health, to revive from sickness, discouragement, faintness, death.”[i] They are an expression of His goodness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

Thank you, Lord, for Your goodness that leads us to repentance, even when it comes in the form of consequences for our foolish decisions. Thank You that You use the unfortunate, uncomfortable, and even tragic to lead us to repentance. It is all Your goodness, Lord. Thank You for working in us to become more wholly Yours today.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

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[i]       Blue Letter Bible. "Dictionary and Word Search for chayah (Strong's 2421)". Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2012. 10 Jun 2012. http:// www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H2421&t=NKJV.

Travel Unravel: A Vacation from God or with Him?

The family resemblance becomes more striking every time we travel. Each vacation evokes images of the Grizwold clan with its quarks, disasters, and ensuing escapades. So it is for us, and the beginning of our trip to Lake Tahoe marked the start of yet another Griz-Wallace family adventure! Luggage heaped on people, and people stacked on people, the six of us plus our neighbor piled into our SUV for the trip to the airport. James slowly recovered from the fact that I dumped the coffee before he got his refill for the road. Samantha sat sideways on my lap, seatbelt snuggling both bodies. Elly slightly visible in the very back. A mere 15 minutes behind schedule. A great start! Rolling into the street, all was smooth sailing, until our speed exceeded fifteen miles per hour. A sound like bending metal vibrated the vehicle.

“What is that noise?!?!” Eyebrows elevated. Nervous smiles spread. Questioning looks exchanged.

The greater the speed, the louder the groan. No warning lights on the dash. No external signs of steel bending or falling apart.

The verdict: The strap holding the golf clubs to the ceiling of the car cut the wind, whining ferociously the faster we drove. No need to stop. No need to assess the security of the strap job. Oh no! Just plow forward, Griz-Wallaces! Load checks through the sunroof every few seconds will do the trick. Raise your voice a bit if you have something to say, and we’re good to go! And pray that nothing goes flying from the roof when we hit the beltway!

Never a dull moment. For that I am thankful, actually. Most of the time. Although, a dull moment every once in a while is a glorious thing. But if it lasts too long, then it’s wrong. Something feels off. The way I feel when a vacation leaves me out of my groove with God. Off.

Morning quiet times filled with extra hours of sleep. Solitary time with God replaced with home-cooked hot breakfast, family banter, and pressure to get to the attraction of the day. God doesn’t go anywhere. It’s me. In taking a week off from life as I know it, I find myself neglecting the very things that make life anywhere worth living. Even life on vacation.

I find myself feeling a bit empty. Agitated. In need of His peace. In need of a return.

He beckons. His grace calls. He opens my eyes to His glory all around me. To His presence always there. To Him. And to the fact that it’s not a designated time of day or amount of time spent with Him that keeps me close. It’s a constant awareness of Him. A constant turning to Him. A constant dialogue. A heart turned to Him no matter where I am or what schedule I keep. And making time, even if it’s just a little, to read His word. To absorb His truth. To sit with Him at the start of my day so the rest of my day can reflect Him.

Snow falls. Flames dance in the fireplace. Elly builds snowmen on the balcony railing. The older girls read Christian novels on their various electronic devices. Ryan details his latest business idea, while James practices his golf swing in the bedroom. It’s a tame Griz-Wallace day. Our last day in Lake Tahoe. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do.

I smile. Inside and out.

God is good. His mercy endures forever. He is slow to anger and quick to forgive. His grace awaits where our pride would hold a grudge. He is ever present when we are quick to jump ship. His arms wide open when ours are crossed in defiance.  

It is an invitation to return. His goodness for my repentance (Romans 2:4). His kindness that I might seek His forgiveness and His face. A reminder that no matter what the intensity of extended togetherness reveals about our family dynamics, no matter how many do-over moments that togetherness demands, I want to extend the same to my Griz-Wallace family. Every quirky one of them.

Lord, please continue Your sanctifying work in me, on vacation and as we settle back into our routine. Make me more wholly Yours every day.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

Sorry Is Sorry When Only Forgiveness Will Do

Many years ago, many seasons past, bleary eyed and staggering through parenting three kids under the age of twelve, James and I heard a teaching that embedded itself in the fiber of our family: “I’m sorry”  should be reserved for careless but innocent mistakes, like accidentally bumping into or spilling something. But when we’ve done something to someone else because of sin in our hearts, nothing will do but, “Will you forgive me?”

Simple semantics? No. The difference isn’t in the language used. It’s in the attitude of the heart.  

Sorry simply blows it off. No brokenness required. No true sorrow over what’s been done. It appeases. To say, “Will you forgive me?” requires repentance. Humility. Others-mindedness that comes from genuine sorrow for one’s words or behavior. It’s the difference between offenses piling up like water behind a dam, pressurized and volatile, and hurts washing away like water under a bridge. “Will you forgive me?” reaches to the injuries of the heart and cleanses. Just like the blood of Jesus does for us.

Yet, when I’m guilty, it’s a whole lot easier to vent a casual sorry than it is to vulnerably confess my sin and seek forgiveness. There’s something about guilt that invites pride, welcome or not, and exposing ourselves is risky. I can’t tell you how many simple infractions have escalated to full-out explosions because of my unwillingness to come clean. Using deflection to make it about the other person and not me, when a simple, “Will you forgive me?” douses threatening embers before they swell to dangerous flames.

In the same way, may embers have been extinguished when any one of us simply stopped and asked for forgiveness.

I don’t even remember the topic of the fight. Stiff necked in the laundry room folding clothes from the dryer, the words, “Why are you being so rude today?” set my emotions in a tailspin and my defenses firmly in place. I was ready to make it all about him, and I was doing a pretty good job, in my opinion. But he wasn’t buying it. The more I tried, the more defenseless I truly was, and a relaxed evening at home hung in the balance. The Holy Spirit would not allow me a moment of peace as I finished the laundry. I slinked into my husband’s office, set aside any legitimate complaint I might have had against him, and simply asked him to forgive me for the way I was acting toward him. No excuses. No justification. Just forgive me.

Restoration was immediate.

Godly sorrow produced repentance that led to salvation. Deliverance, preservation, and safety, just as Paul says it will in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 (KJV):

Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

The recipients of Paul’s letter experienced sadness, uneasiness, regret, and grief, but what made him exceedingly glad was that it produced repentance: a change of mind as it appears in one who heartily amends with abhorrence of one’s past sins (metanoia and its root, donemetanoeō, www.blueletterbible.com, 2 Corinthians 7:9). It’s the difference between sorrow because you were caught doing wrong versus sorrow for the sin itself. Not self-contrived sorrow, but the working of the Holy Spirit in us.

And when the Holy Spirit is behind the sorrow, pain, grief, annoyance, affliction, and mourning that leads us to a change of mind with regards to our sin, then comes salvation, sōtēria in the Greek, which encompasses “deliverance, preservation, safety, salvation from the molestation of enemies; in an ethical sense, that which concludes to the soul's safety or salvation; salvation as the present possession of all true Christians; future salvation, the sum of benefits and blessings which the Christians, redeemed from all earthly ills, will enjoy after the visible return of Christ from heaven in the consummated and eternal kingdom of God” (www.blueletterbible.com, 2 Corinthians 7:10).

Feeling bad about what we’ve done isn’t enough. All humanity is capable of sorrow, pain, and grief over wrong actions, including those who are hostile to the cause of Christ. But their sorrow only leads to death, thanatos in the Greek, “ the death of the body with the implied idea of future misery in hell; the miserable state of the wicked dead in hell; in the widest sense, death comprising all the miseries arising from sin, as well physical death as the loss of a life consecrated to God and blessed in him on earth, to be followed by wretchedness in hell”; from the word thnēskō, which refers to being spiritually dead (www.blueletterbible.com, 2 Corinthians 7:10).

In other words, sorry produces death. It piles on offenses and eventually kills relationships. It blows off that which needs balm, leaving the injured to lick their own wounds. “Will you forgive me?” leads to salvation. It’s seeking forgiveness as evidence of repentance. With Jesus. With each other. Husbands. Children. Parents. Friends. Co-workers.

As imperfect as my family is, we have lots of opportunities to use those four words. As wrapped up as I get in my own world, I have ample opportunity to plead the quartet outside the walls of my home. But that’s what makes our families and friendships indestructible: the work of the Holy Spirit in us to bring us to repentance that leads to salvation.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Ephesians 4:22-27).

Sorry is sorry. Don’t give place to the devil, my friend. Forgive and be forgiven as you become wholly His today.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His

The Counterfeit Savior

Satan is a great mimicker, offering counterfeits to distract us from the real deal in Christ Jesus. Instead of peace beyond understanding, Satan offers a temporary reprieve from fear, stress, suffering, depression, insecurity, doldrums, and plain old boredom in the form of alcohol, drugs, sex, entertainment, electronics, video games, shopping, eating, and the like. In place of the safety and security of an unbroken family, the devil dangles adultery, pornography, popularity, gangs, wrong relationships, sexual immorality, and rebellious adventures. Instead of the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, Satan offers vanity, anorexia, bulimia, and attention-demanding fashions. His imitation of God’s church and His people taking care of those in need comes in the form of government entitlements and social services. The great deceiver holds up political parties, particular candidates, bailouts, handouts, and new legislation as the answer to every person’s every concern, and even God’s people are getting hoodwinked.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Period. No counterfeit. No substitute. We must turn to Him and turn to His truth in order to experience life as He desires it. His truth in all things, including community and government. Through specific directives and more broadly applied principles, God’s word guides us in all things. We’ve looked at the black and white with regards to governing authorities, and Thursday, we’ll touch on the gray – the activities of American politics that God’s word doesn’t directly address. Actually, that blog was all wrapped up and in cue for today when God reordered things a bit. Groundwork needs to be laid. Distinctions established. Conditions. In order to say anything about the potential implications of scripture for getting involved in politics, there’s a foundation of truth that must be laid first.

True Social Reform Only Comes by Spiritual Reform

Regardless of who rules America, only God can save. A godly ruler won’t save our country. A godly ruler won’t save one immoral, lost soul. Only God will. No form of legislation, no matter how honorable, will change or rule hearts. Only the Holy Spirit will. As God’s children, our job is not to change this nation through political reform but through spiritual reform. The goal is not to muster enough collective political clout to gain the upper hand in government. The goal is souls. Genuinely saved, not cleverly deceived. Keeping that goal in mind and remaining undeterred is our number one priority. Everything, including political activities, should be evaluated in light of its soul value. Spiritual reform is the only thing that will save this nation, and social reform is neither its precursor nor its conduit.

Church, Do Your Job!

James 1:27 issues a clear mandate to God’s church: “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” This is God’s directive for social services, given to the church, not the government. Where the church has failed, government has gladly stepped in, as I explain in this excerpt from my upcoming book, Holy His: Hope for a Life and a Nation Wholly His:

We’ve been told the lie of separation of church and state for so long that we now believe it’s a constitutional statute. It is a falsehood. The constitution and the very foundation of our country are based on Biblical values and truth. The men who fought for and led our country to independence were in large majority men of God. There was no separation of church and state. The church was the backbone of this country, and I believe the failure of our nation is the direct result of the failure of the church. As the morals of our country decline, the standards in the church decline as well. We think if we stay a few notches above the world in how we live our lives, we’re doing well. So as the world declines, the church declines with it. As long as it stays just a tad bit above the world, the church is satisfied. But that’s not God’s standard, nor is it His design.

As the world has become more and more selfish, concerned only with its own desires and own agendas, and as the world has assumed an attitude of entitlement, stinginess, and greed, the people in our churches have done exactly the same thing. For the most part, our churches no longer look any different than the world. The nation has turned to the government to be its savior because the church isn’t there to model a true Savior. That’s why true repentance and a complete return to God’s ways are critical to our nation. The government will no longer be the only answer to a lost and dying world when: 1) God’s people start living like the holy nation of priests and saints we are, and 2) the body of Christ operates by the principles God defined for His church.

We are to be serving one another, laying down our lives for our brethren, to the point where there’s not a need among us. If that were the case, I suspect more people would want what the church has to offer, not being drawn to something for nothing, but instead to the Source of our every need.

Govern Thyself First

Notice the second part of James 1:27 says, “to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” Continuing the above excerpt:

Our witness and testimony define Jesus to our world. What kind of example are we? Are we obedient so that His blessings show in our lives and we set an attractive example of the peace, protection, and provision available to those who love and obey the Lord? Are we full of mercy, grace, and forgiveness so people experience the unconditional love and forgiveness available through Jesus Christ? Are our children and families full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22), or do we look just like every other family that is hurting, struggling, and dying a slow death? Are our businesses and jobs prospering because we’re tithing, giving, and operating with integrity and generosity, or are we doing the bare minimum and even less than that? Are we doing all things as if unto the Lord? Or do we share the world’s entitlement mentality and expect something for nothing? Are we faithful with little so we can be given much (Luke 19:17)? Or are we bitter, jealous, greedy, and resentful because we don’t have what the next guy has? Do we believe God’s word or do we subject ourselves continually to the world’s reports? Are we walking in God’s grace and peace because we believe His word and promises, or are we fearing the temporal and what the eye can see?

It is our witness and the way we live or don’t live according to God’s principles, and therefore under His blessings, that will affect our voice and the recovery of our nation. The world can detect a fraud fifty miles away. If we are saying one thing and living another, the world won’t take us seriously. If we talk about the power, goodness, and blessings of God and don’t live in such a way that He can demonstrate Himself in and through us, the world will see us as what we’ve become: hypocrites.

“Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people” (Proverbs 14:34).

Lord, thank You that You credit us with the righteousness of Jesus Christ when we are saved by grace through faith. May His righteousness in us exalt this nation as we become more wholly Yours.

Shauna Wallace

Holy His