I drop my daughter off at class
and head to my first appointment. “Lord, please, you just have to give me a
scripture to stand on today, a verse to which I can train my thoughts when
these same concerns cycle through my head again and again.” The one about being
anxious over nothing comes to mind. I search anxious in the Bible app on my phone. Found it! Philippians 4:6:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.” A glimpse of relief peeks back
at me. I wonder what the previous verses say. I read them. “Rejoice in the Lord
always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (verse four). Rejoice??? Really??? And
it’s exclamatory, not just a casual suggestion. “How do I rejoice, Lord, when
all I want to do is cry? I don’t feel
like rejoicing, but it’s right here in Your word, before you tell me to be
anxious over nothing.” As if it’s a prerequisite to peace. I’m desperate. I
obey. Not because I feel like it, but because I want the peace so badly. I want
to do this His way. Thankful that onlookers would likely assume I was engaged
in a passionate cell phone conversation via Bluetooth, I declared firmly and
loudly: “I rejoice in You, Lord, that You are creator and ruler of this
universe! I rejoice in You, Lord, that none of my struggles are a surprise to
You! Lord, I rejoice in You that You are not caught off guard by any of this! I
rejoice in You that You know all things and are all powerful. I rejoice in You
that You will give me the information I need when I need it. I rejoice in You
that You will accomplish Your purpose and Your plan in all things. I rejoice in You, Lord, that where I am
lacking, You will complete the work You started in me and my children.” I look
up rejoice in the Greek. It means to
be exceedingly glad in the Lord. I focus my attention on my God – on those
things about Him for which I am exceedingly glad – and my concerns begin to
ease. In light of the bigness of my God, my worries become a bit smaller.
I keep reading. “Let your
gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand” (verse five). That’s odd.
Sort of stuck there. There has to be a reason. What is it Lord? Maybe the Greek
holds clues that will unlock its significance. It’s talking about my behavior.
Maybe even my disposition. Any and all people who see me in my private life, my
church life, my business life, at Bible study, with my friends, in public. What
do they see? What is made known to them? What knowledge do they gain about me
or perceive? Gentleness? Is my behavior suitable?
Equitable and fair? Mild? What about when I’m stressed and anxious, like I have
been this week? Am I the same person in all places and in all circumstances?
There really isn’t a private life, is there? The verse says so. “The Lord is at
hand.” Both physically and in time. My Messiah and Lord Jesus Christ is
positioned right near me. He is right here. Always. Sunday, when I snap at my
husband in front of church. He is near. He and anyone looking saw. Gentleness
is not what was known. Oh to be able to hide my face! It also implies I have near
access to God. In those stressful moments when I’m not myself, He is right
there. And He is soon to come. When He does, how will He find me? Even if I’m
stressed? The key is in the rejoicing. If I am exceedingly glad, there is no
room to be exceedingly anxious, and I can be exceedingly gentle. Lord, I will
practice rejoicing!
Reading on, I come back to “Be
anxious for nothing.“ I repeat it. Again and again. Just to be sure I get it. It
means do not be troubled with cares over anything. Do not seek or promote my
own interest in anything. That sheds some light. Is that the source of my
anxiety? Seeking my own interest in all these things? It hits me. Truth. Do not
be troubled, Shauna, or seek your own interest for your daughter and her friendships. Do not
be troubled or seek your own interest for the piles on your desk. Do not be
troubled, Shauna, or seek your own interest with regards to danger that lurks
around you. Do not be troubled or seek your own interest with regards to
shopping your values and if it will one day mean not shopping at all. Even for
food. (Yes, my mind does go that far to the extreme very fast!) Be anxious not
over your hormones. Be anxious not. Period. And the next word is but. Really, it’s saying rather or instead. “But in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (verse six). So instead
of troubling myself and seeking my own interest, practice thanksgiving. Address
God with my needs and wants – seeking and asking – AFTER giving thanks! Give thanks first. Rejoice and give thanks. Then I will be anxious over nothing. I
can’t be thankful and full of fear at the same time. I can’t be exceedingly glad and uneasy at the same time.
We have to do something instead of worrying. Instead of fretting. Rejoice and
give thanks!
The result? Peace! It’s the very
thing that drove me to God for a verse on which to train my mind. “And the
peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and
minds through Christ Jesus” (verse seven). That’s exactly what I need!!! I need
your peace. My heart and mind need guarding. Lord, I will do this. I will
rejoice. I will give thanks. Starting now. Thank You, Lord, for Your word. For
this very specific word. Thank You that it is alive and active, right now, for
me. I need it so desperately. Thank You for being at work in and through me,
even when it’s uncomfortable. Thank You that You will work all of this together
for good. Thank You for the opportunity to learn more about You, Your truth,
Your ways. Thank You.
And His peace does as He says as
I move from appointments to errands. Anxious thoughts threaten. They are met by
the word of God. They are met with rejoicing. With thanksgiving. And the peace
goes deeper. On my way home, I think about the last words of the verses God gave
me. Yes, I feel like they were just at the very moment I needed them. The last
three words register: Through Christ
Jesus. It all happens through
Christ Jesus. It is only possible because He makes it possible. It is only
possible for me because He saved me and I am in Him. Through Him, I rejoice.
Through Him, I give thanks. Through Him, I make my requests known to God.
Through Him, I can experience peace that passes understanding. Through Him,
that peace will guard my heart. My burdened heart. Through Him, that peace will
guard my mind. Everything is through Him. Salvation. Hope. Healing. Help.
Pulling into my neighborhood,
finally done with all my running around, I vent to my sister. I need prayer.
She listens. She affirms. I share the scripture the Lord gave me. She
emphasizes thanksgiving. Regarding my heartbreak for my daughter and her friend
dilemma, she encourages me, “You can thank Him for what you can learn from this
and what Elly can learn. For the ways you can train her in the ways of the Lord
through this.” Thank you, Lord. “And you can thank Him for using it to turn her
heart toward her family.” Thank you, Lord. “And you can thank Him for using
this as a way for her big sisters to be a good friend to her.” Thank you, Lord.
Thank you for my sister. Thank you for the truth she speaks in love.
This morning, she emails me a
prayer. One that pierces my burdened heart with hope. One that pierces my
concerns with what matters most to God.
My prayer is that this will be a time for
you all to be filled with God’s grace and peace. I pray that you can be
the gospel to your family and friends. That you will love them
selflessly. Thank you Lord for these times that you refine us and remind
us that you are the ONLY one we can rely on. Please cause their hearts to
turn to you and trust you in everything.
When the devil stirs it up and
steals your peace, resist! Rejoice! Give thanks! Repeat as necessary. Stir
things up in the Lord. Be anxious for nothing. And may the peace of God which
surpasses all understanding guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus as
you become wholly His today.
Shauna Wallace
Holy His
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